Just who are the tragic players on the stage of 9-Bit Theatre? Well, look no further, weary traveler, here they are... but you'll find that only those who have appeared in the strip are listed here. As more characters are introduced into the storyline, they will be brought in and explained on this page.

	Black Mage, real name Anakin, is a traveller from the world of Cube (but not Square. Trust me, not Square). He is young and ambitious, a bit of a smartass, and a precocious young wielder of the Dark Arts. Just how he came into association with Fighter is not yet known, but may be revealed in days to come...
	Fighter, real name Fighter, is a guy who fights. No, really. He, like Black Mage, is a resident of Cube randomly transported to our earth on a mystic, prophesied quest that he is either a) unaware of, b) too stupid to acknowledge, or c) a bit of both. He is an innocent (i.e., "stupid") soul, and thus may be open to corruption from the myriad decadences of our world. He likes sharp, shiny things that make people bleed.
	Mistaken by Black Mage as a member of a gypsy tribe of Cube, Goth Chick is in reality a girl named Anne who lives in a three-bedroom house in the upper middle class neighborhood of her city. She recites impromptu poetry and secretly fantasizes about running away to be a groupie for *N Sync.
	Mullet Man. He works at World of Knives. He has a mullet. He likes classic southern rock. What else needs to be said?