The year is 1987.

You may or not be aware that in 1987 Cannon Pictures produced a live action film based on the Mattel toy line and Filmation cartoon series of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Directed by Gary Goddard, the creator of the short lived Captain Power television series (of which I was also a fan) and starring Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and Frank Langella as Skeletor. Like most movies based on a cartoon series, this movie received much flak just for that one fact alone. Then you had the other side of the spectrum. Hardcore fans of the He-Man cartoon were disappointed by the changes that the screenwriter had to make to adapt the story into a live action forum. In both cases, this film was not given it’s proper due.

Let me get this out of the way…this will not be a review of the film exactly. More of an argument as to why this movie should be treated with more legitimacy. That’s what will separate this from your standard "Crimson Celluloid" review. Also, if you just have a mad grudge against He-Man and hated the cartoons or hate fantasy or hate me…you’ll just sit here and stew over not liking what I’m writing. And in the end you won’t look at it objectively anyway. In that case, do us all a favor and don’t read anymore. Other than that, LET’S GRADE SOME CHEESE!!

Visual Effects: This film was pretty state of the art for 1987. The special effects probably couldn’t hold a candle to Independence Day or Phantom Menace but they’re still far superior to the visual effects seen in such 90’s films like Robot Jox or the Robocop sequels. That’s saying quite a bit since Masters of the Universe was made on a really tight budget. In just about every scene in Masters of the Universe there is a special visual effect of some sort. Laser blasts, explosions, time bending effects, rear projection, blue screen, models, force perspective. And in most cases, they’re actually done so well that it’s kinda taken for granted and easily overlooked. In most cases, the special visual effects are quite superb. There are, however, the exceptions. The cheesy fact that the bad guy’s laser blasts are red and the good guy’s laser blasts are blue was kinda elementary. But then again, it’s a film based on a children’s show. But still…even in my opinion. Kids don’t need different colored lasers to know who’s a bad guy. Also, there’s a scene where He-Man jumps on this flying platform a la Back to the Future part two and there’s this once split second scene where they kinda manipulate the model unnaturally as he flies over a roof top. It kinda bothers me every time I see it. Overall, I feel that the visual effects in this film are fairly strong. Name me one special effects movie where you believed everything you saw on the screen. Was it cheesy? Uh huh…but in a film based on a toy, you gotta expect some campiness.

I give the Visual Effects a B-.

Visual Style: This is where I become the biggest whore in the world for this film. The simple things done in this film for just visual presence creates one of the more rich film going experiences. There’s a reason for every light source that is used in the film. If you see a blue light cast on the ground or a reflection falling across someone’s face, you don’t have to look far for an intended source. It wasn’t until sitting down and really analyzing this film last night that I realized how much care was put into the lighting. It was wise to make the actions of this movie mostly take place at night on Earth. The darkness helped keep the characters believable. Imagine someone dressed like Beastman walking down main street in broad daylight... it would have been ridiculous. But the darkness offers these characters some major validity. The camera work is nothing short of phenomenal as well. When our heroes are on Eternia (He-Man’s home world) the views and sets are elaborate and grand. When we’re on Earth, we have some richly lit locations only when the other worldly visitors are there. If it’s a scene between Earthlings, the lighting is fairly bland and the sets are pretty simple creating a flat effect. Which is right. No need to stress things we’re used to. Make the film more stunning when we’re watching characters and people we’re not familiar with. But this isn’t exactly the camera work. Gary Goddard uses a couple of tight 5 shots to keep us involved with characters while at the same time, keeping the pace of the movie up. Every frame shot on this movie keeps a great sense of pace as the camera keeps a stable dynamic around what may be static characters. One scene that instantly comes to mind is when our heroes first escape Skeletor’s lair. Skeletor addresses his troops as we swing far and wide from him at first and then, ultimately, at the end of the shot Skeletor is right in front of the camera, delivering his last line. This isn’t the work of a no talent hack. That’s visual style. That’s an eye and it keeps things exciting. The fact that the director had no second unit may be a reason for this. When a director must shoot every frame himself, he tends to put more care into it than a second unit that has no idea what the story is. The scenes flow almost seamlessly into one another. Then again I expect no less from an editor like Anne Coates. She also edited Lawrence of Arabia and didn’t slouch at all when it came to editing this film. The visual style alone is beautiful enough without worrying about throwing in special effects.

I give the Visual Style an A+.

Sound: The sound in this film wasn’t really all that mind blowing or spectacular. The score seemed to be kind of a rehash of John Williams work on Star Wars and Superman. There were a couple of times that I had to laugh because the heroes would pull out little gadgets that would make the cheesy little sounds like in the cartoon series. Which, I guess was supposed to create a continuity between the movie and the cartoon…but something like that can kill an otherwise believable moment. Other than the score, there was some pretty decent music thrown in there. When one of our characters goes into a music store, we got Purple Haze playing for us in the background. The sound designers were nice enough to treat us to actual songs and not create some kind of cheesy original tunes just for the movie a la Transformers the Movie. Don’t get me wrong, I dig the Transformers movie….a preexisting song wouldn’t have fit in there….I’m just using it as an example. Other than that, the voices were pretty much synched up correctly, so what more can you ask for?

I give the Sound a C+.

Costumes: You figure for a fantasy movie you gotta have some pretty decent costumes and Masters of the Universe delivered. In some cases, they went above and beyond the call of duty. And in some cases, they kinda dropped the ball. Let's go with the good stuff first. We had Man at Arms, Teela and He-Man who basically looked like how they did in the cartoon. Now, I think they coulda maybe put pants on He-Man for the movie... but the look of the main character was probably too important to compromise. You have to have that recognition there... so, for that, they are forgiven. Evil-Lynn, Beastman and the Sorceress also looked just like how they did in the cartoon. The new villains like Karde, Blade and Skeletor's troops were really well made costumes. Yes, when they come to Earth, they look way elaborate but in the setting of Eternia, it all kinda clicks. It's funny... but the costumes that they picked for the normal people was kinda silly. Now, I'm trying to take time frame into account. Yes, fashions and trends change from generation to generation. The character of Kevin was decked out in a leather jacket and jeans and a white t-shirt... a look that's pretty timeless. Detective Lubic was also dressed in a look that was good for any time. A kinda disheveled suit with a brown trenchcoat over it. It fit the character. It was the other Earthlings that looked like they just didn't belong. Like Julie, the main character, was wearing this horrible denim skirt thing that never worked the whole movie. Maybe that's me being a gay fashion critic... but, girl, you must have no friends. And Charlie, the music store proprietor. It's like they tried to make him look like a cross between a beatnik and a member of Menudo. When was the last time you saw someone dressed in bright colors in a music store. NEVER. You've never seen that. Why would they dress this guy like that? I dunno. They probably let him wear his own clothes or something. The worst is this nightgown thing that Julie is wearing at the end of the movie. It's got little lace thingies and covers up every inch of flesh on her body. The only people I've ever seen in a nightgown like this are the Amish people in Pennsylvania. THAT'S IT!! No 18 year old girl, wears a nightgown like this unless she's got no friends. That's about the worst the costumes get in this film. Now let me tell you the best one. SKELETOR! They took some of the traditional elements of the character's look from the cartoon and then added to it to make a darker, deeper and more evil character. The robes, adorned in silver and gold patterns, run black and flowing creating a visual almost reminiscent of Death in the Ingmar Bergman classic The Seventh Seal. The latex used with the basic make up on Frank Langella creates a convincing visage of a chillingly evil fantasy villain. Although some of the costumes are severely dated, the overall look and feel of the movie hardly suffers.

I give the Costumes a B-.

Story: There really isn't a lot to say for the story of this film. It's a basic story that we've seen before. Maybe almost enough times to be a 15 Minute Concept. Heroes from another time and place, while waging a war of their own in their own place and time are flung to Earth. Once in Earth, they must attempt to make their way back. In the course of events, they befriend a few locals who help them on their way. The otherworldly beings learn from the humans and the humans learn from them and in the end, all evil is thwarted. As far as originality goes, the story lacks. However, the execution of the story was the difference and it was done really well. Again, He-Man purists will complain because of a lack of original characters. The He-Man character in the cartoon had a dynamic a lot like Clark Kent did in the Superman stories. There was Prince Adam of Eternia who, when he holds his sword aloft, becomes He-Man. This wasn't so in the movie. He was just always He-Man. Which was fine. The movie didn't need that subplot of the main hero trying to hide his real identity thrown in there. It would have just cluttered the movie. Overall, the story had been done before but not with these characters and not with such rich visuals. It's hard to rate it on story alone... but if I have to then I have to.

I rate the Story a C+.

Scriptwriting: This is where Masters of the Universe may receive some jeers from me. Not many... but there are just some negatives that I can't make excuses for. Before I get into it... story and script are not the same thing. The story is the basic plot of the film. The script is the dialogue and map of events that takes us through the story. The events in the script are all pretty solid, I gotta give it that much credit. I think where the script suffered was with the dialogue. There are just a few things that I just couldn't suspend disbelief enough for. First case in point, these big monster looking guys invade a school and chase Julie around. Julie runs from them into the arms of a half naked musclehead who tells her he's not going to hurt her and she believes him. Sorry, buddy. I know we're running on a time frame in this film, but I'm not gonna trust you that easily. Also, among the heroes, there is a midget kind of character named Gwildor. He's the creator of the "Cosmic Key" that has brought them all to Earth. The character of Kevin is beat up by the bad guys in Julie's house. The heroes come to his aid. Whole asking Kevin what happened, Gwildor comes out dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat and HUGE sunglasses saying they should disguise themselves. They all start laughing at this like he's a cute little kitten playing with yarn. WHILE KEVIN IS LAYING BLOODY ON THE FLOOR!!! Quit laughing at the midget and make sure the guy is okay. The final case in point. The police officer, Lubic. Through a series of events, is transported to Eternia with the other Earthlings to help He-Man fight Skeletor's forces. Upon seeing Skeletor he goes "What the heck is going on here, is this for real?" To which the character of Kevin scolds him like a child yelling "Damnit, Lubic!! Don't you understand!? This is real!!" Well, who the hell are you to yell at this guy like this? He's on another planet. He didn't have the luxury of cruising around with He-Man for the past hour and a half... this is new to him. Cut Lubic some slack!! There are a couple other parts in the script that just don't make any sense but it would take me too long to describe the other two things I'm thinking about. You'll know what I mean if you watch it. The script is no way as bad as the script for Tomb Raider or Mission Impossible 2. The things the characters do or say don't seem unmotivated. Maybe just trying to do too much at once but properly motivated. Other than the parts described above and a couple others, the script is actually pretty good and keeps the story firmly held in place. Almost all the dialogue and action is forward momentum. It all melds together to keep a very good and important pace.

I give the Scriptwriting a C+.

Acting: Now this is where most people would think that Masters of the Universe would lag the most. "Oh, jeez... a freakin' live action movie about He-Man with the Russian guy from Rocky 4. The acting is gonna suck!" Hold it right there. Now, it's true that you won't find an Oscar nomination in the acting category for this film. But take a look at some of the individual performances and tell me the acting sucked. Now, Courtney Cox plays Julie in her first motion picture roll. She's cold, sure... but I have to give her credit. For her first picture, she's pretty endearing. You feel an honesty about her performance and believe her... even in her silly outfits. She's a girl who's lost her family... you don't exactly see that pain unless she HAS to show it... but when she plays it... she plays it pretty well. Robert Duncan McNeil (of Star Trek Voyager fame) plays Kevin. A character that you kinda like off the bat despite being given some of the most empty dialogue in the film. He takes a mediocre role and decides to own it. From his rebellious attitude with Detective Lubic and his passive aggressive attitude with Julie... you see the perfect picture of a high school kid who hates the fact that his girlfriend is getting ready to leave him. The supporting cast is really strong with actors like Meg Foster playing Evil-Lynn, Chelsea Field playing Teela, Jon Cypher as an incredibly believable Man at Arms and Billy Barty as Gwildor. Dolph Lundgren did what was required of him. To look muscle-bound and not say a whole hell of a lot. The few lines he delivers are textbook and par for the course for an action film. James Tolkan (of Top Gun and Back to the Future fame) plays beloved Detective Lubic. I always hated this guy as a kid but I absolutely love his performance in this film. A truly honest performance. The guy takes a stereotypical bit part and makes it one of the more memorable characters in the film. I get chills whenever Lubic is transported to Eternia and a few bad guys fire their lasers at him. Lubic ducks down with a dumbfounded expression on his face and says "Nobody takes potshots at Lubic" and begins to lay waste to these Stormtrooper-esque troops with his pump action shotgun. The true gem of this production is Frank Langella as Skeletor. Again, I'll say that this character is one of the greatest villains in movie history. Ranking up there with Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine and Hans Gruber. You could tell that Frank Langella felt the character once he was decked out in his costume and make up. He embodied the role of Skeletor like nobody else ever could. He relished the role and played with it so fully that you believed him. It was an honest performance down to each twitch of his bony lip. He would flap his robes this way and that. His staff would change hands naturally with the delivery of dialogue. His inflection and voice work, facial expressions behind a killer make up job was nothing short of genius. A dark and mysterious villain with the intelligence and cunning to boot. One of few movie villains that I can see getting away with quoting Shakespeare (which he did VERY WELL). There was a passion connected to this role that was unlike anything I've seen in most films to date. It's almost unfair to me that Frank Langella wasn't even given so much as a nod for his role in this film. People, if you're dismissing this film without even giving it a chance, you're missing out on one of the greatest performances of a villain. Please... watch it. There were some lackluster performances strewn throughout this picture but overall, I was satisfied.

I rate the Acting an A-.

So, there you have it. My humble opinion of a film that I believe hasn't received it's due. It's a cheesy movie that may have been unfairly categorized. I recommend you check it out sometime and take these points that I've given you into consideration. I think you'll find a diamond in the rough with this film.