(Warning: Possible offensive materials litter the first paragraph of the following review – but only to the Terminally Stupid) Hmm… Angel Cakes, Double-Whammies, Loaves, PT Boats, Dueling Banjos, Love Melons, Balloons, Dumplings, Love Muffins, Rib Balloons, Lulus, Ear Muffs, Macaroons, Mambos, Mammaries, Sandbags, Bazongas, Satellites, Bazookas, Flapjacks, Bazooms, Scoops, Shakers, Marimbas, Mau Maus, Shimmies, Big Boppers, Fog Lights, Mausers, Silos, Bikini Stuffers, Fried Eggs, Meatballs, Billibongs, Fun Bags, Meat Loaves, Skooners, Blinkers, Gagas, Melons, Smoothies, Bombers, Snuggle Pups, Bombshells, Gazingas, Spark Plugs, Bonbons, Gazongas, Bongos, Spheres, Bonkers, Globelets, Mommas, Spongecakes, Globes, Montezumas, Stacks, Gongas, Moo Moos, Goombas, Mother Lodes, Sugarplums, Mounds, Bosom, Grillwork, Mountain Peaks, Sweater Puffs, Boulders, Guavas, Muchachas, Sweet Rolls, Bouncers, Gum Drops, Muffins, Tahitis, Hooters, Torpedoes, Headlamps, Wah-wahs, Howitzers, Knockers and on and on it goes….

This just scratches the surface of nicknames the human male has come up with to accentuate his obsession with this particular part of a woman’s anatomy. Though I can appreciate them myself, I’ve never understood why some guys are so obsessed by overly large bazomb…uhhh… I mean, breasts. Personally for me, smaller is much, much sexier. But is in the spirit of this obsession that filmmaker William Winkler wrote, directed and starred in “The Double D Avenger.”

In what can only be described as a high camp comedy, “The Double D Avenger” reunites ‘actresses’ Kitten Natividad, Raven De La Croix and Haji for fans of Russ Meyer films (“Beneath the Valley of the Utlra-Vixens”, “Faster Faster Pussycat Kill Kill”). Natividad stars as Chastity Knott, who is the recipient of bad news when she learns she has (oddly enough) breast cancer. She learns of the healing powers of a South American plant, and heads out to find it. Looking like some weird mix of a banana and pomegranate, she ‘sucks’ on the plant and gets more than she bargained for. Along with curing her cancer, she ‘develops’ super powers, turning her into “The Double D Avenger.” She soon finds herself in a battle of ti… uh… I mean wits with Al Purplewood (Winkler) the owner of a rival strip club and his evil strippers.

I’d be hard-pressed to call “The Double D Avenger” a good movie, but I will say that for a B-movie meant to be stupid it’s… well… stupid. The humor is decidedly low-brow, the jokes excessively lame, and the acting really, reaaalllly bad. However, there’s an audience for every movie, and those who enjoy a late night drinking buddy movie with loads of titillation (though a surprising lack of overt nudity), will certainly get that in abundance, and I do mean abundance. Mixed into this silly adventure, you’ll find some lingerie montage sequences from some overly endowed porn stars as well as one of the funkiest ‘funky chicken strips’ ever committed to film.

If there is anything that really makes the DVD release worthwhile, it is the fact that it is part of Elite Entertainment’s new “Joe Bob Briggs presents…” series. Briggs sits through the movie with you, providing a running commentary on an alternate track. As the premiere Drive-In movie critic, his comments never cease to entertain as well as educate. At any given time he shares a bit of movie history or trivia, makes jokes at the expense of the film, and even adds a few more euphemisms to the list provided above.

On the off-chance you watch “The Double D Avenger” and happen to decide it is the finest film you’ve ever seen, than you’ll love the fact that there is also a lengthy ‘making of’ documentary. Running well over an hour, it’s full of interviews and behind the scenes footage (as well a getting behind a few other things…), fully fit for the cazonga connoisseur. Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention a cameo by the king of horror movie memorabilia Forrest J. Ackerman. I’d fill you in on some of the movie’s other high points, but I think I’ve given you just enough to keep you abreast… of the situation. Any more, and I’d feel like a real boob. Sorry, for the bad jokes, I just had to get them off my chest.

Directed by: William Winkler
Starring: Kitten Natividad, Raven De La Croix, Haji, Mimma Mariucci, Sheri Dawn Thomas, Forrest J. Ackerman
Extras: Audio Commentary by Joe Bob Briggs, Original Theatrical Trailer
Specifications: Full Frame (1.33:1)
Studio: Elite Entertainment
Release Date: 4/272004
Region 1
MPAA Rating: NR
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We'll give The Double D Avenger a C+.