I’m not sure what the big deal is these days with remaking some of the newer classic horror films and re-inventing iconic villains. I know remakes have been on the rise over the last couple of decades, as writers get less and less creative. Even Rob Zombie, who made the move from rock star to director with the decent “House of a 1,000 Corpses” and the superlative “The Devils Rejects” opted to take what he had learned from those two films and re-create Michael Myers in an all new remake of “Halloween.” Granted, I am not a fan of most remakes. They rarely surpass the work that had come before, which is a reason why I think it would be much smarter for filmmakers to remake lesser movies and make better versions rather than choosing classic films from any era. But I understand that it is more often the suits at the studio wanting to make a buck off of a familiar title’s name.

So sad… and usually too bad for us. In regards to Zombie’s remake of “Halloween”, it wasn’t a bad flick on its own merits, but it did nothing to improve on the original. Ultimately it was a little more than a rehash with a little torture porn thrown in.

Fortunately, Zombie promised that it was going to be a standalone feature and not a reboot of the franchise. Unfortunately, the studio stepped in and Zombie changed his mind when presented with enough cashola. Hence… we have “Halloween II.” Tyler Mane returns as Michael Myers, and he is probably the one thing about the movie as a whole that really works. He is a frightening figure, a fact that I can attest to from having met him last year. Really nice guy, but his size is very intimidating. I love the way he delivers the iconic character, making him seem less supernatural and more hulking monster. His is a much more brutal and aggressive Myers.

Also back are Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis, Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Strode, and Brad Dourif as Sheriff Brackett. “Halloween II” picks right up from where the first film ended with Myers presumed dead at Laurie’s hand. The survivors end up at the hospital, Myers is quite dead, and a few shocking moments later… the real movie begins. For the most part, it continues to be a cat and mouse game between Michael and Laurie with a few kills to keep things spicy. The deaths are brutal and uncomfortably visceral. And here we come to the second part, after it being a pseudo-remake, that doesn’t quite work for me. Zombie, as well as way too many horror film director’s these days, decides the way to make a scary movie is to make the deaths as tortuous as possible. And while this qualifies it as a horror film, being horrible and all, it just isn’t scary. Intimidating maybe, but not scary. Again I have to mention the whole torture porn thing. With little exception however, we don’t feel too badly for those he kills as they are all culled from the dregs of humanity. From Laurie on down, not one single character (cops aside) have a single redeeming quality. Even Dr. Loomis has been turned into a media whore for the book he wrote about Michael. You can’t count the decent people in the hospital because… oops… spoiler… can’t say anymore.

I realize also that there is an audience out there for this, and yes I can appreciate and enjoy the special effects involved with this type of visceral style. However, I don’t watch movies like that for this alone. I really, really need the plot to work alongside it. Not just killing, blah blah, killing, weird flashback, blah blah, killing, blah blah, creepy visions, blah blah, killing. Speaking of creepy visions, “Halloween II” is full of them…and they nearly ruin what is good about the movie. Myers, then Laurie start seeing their dead mother, a white horse, and the little kid version of Michael. For Myers, they lead him forward on his never ending quest to find his sister. For Zombie,I think it was just a reason to get his wife Sheri all over the movie (since presumably no one else will hire her as an actress). If it were her alone, it MIGHT not have been so bad, but the horse was a bit much. Oh, and there is an odd “Alice in Blunderland” dinner dream sequence that made me wonder just how many different drugs Zombie was on when he wrote this script.

All of these things aside, there are a handful of moments that did work for me. The death of one character brought on flashes of memory of a little girl lost to this monster for her father. This was a brief sequence that really did get me a little verklempt. The site of Michael Myers, sans mask, standing before a crapload of cops was also very powerful. I did find the scenes of a shadowy Michael walking across fields and along streets in order to get to Haddonfield rather interesting, but I could not help but hear the sad theme from the Incredible Hulk TV series in my head during most of them. (Note to self… consider re-cutting for YouTube!) Oh, and not to forget… the cameo by my favorite musical parody artist definitely made my list of good things about the movie!

Sony has put out a decent bluray package for “Halloween II”, complete with several deleted and alternate scenes, some audition footage, make-up test footage and a blooper reel. I do appreciate the fact that Zombie recorded a commentary track as it does offer some insight into what he was going for. He’s also rather fun to listen to being a bit opinionated and willing to share and all. There’s also a couple of weird features involving the ‘band’ featured in the movie and Uncle Seymour Coffin.

“Halloween II” is not a straight remake as was the first one, but more of a continuation of Zombie’s re-invention of the character. There is a finality to the film, which will hopefully keep us from having a “Halloween III.” Though who knows, with enough money thrown around, maybe Zombie will decide to give us some mind controlling masks. Personally I think he should stick to music, unless he is going to give us something fresh and original, like he did before sinking his fangs into a remake.

Directed by: Rob Zombie
Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris, Scott Taylor-Compton
Extras: Deleted and Alternate Scenes; Audition Footage, Make-up Test Footage; Blooper Reel; Captain Clegg and the Night Creatures Music Videos; Commentary by Writer/Director Rob Zombie; Uncle Seymour Coffins’ Stand-up Routines
Specification: 1080p (1.85:1); DTS HD Master Audio 5.1
Studio: Sony
Release Date: 01/12/2009
MPAA Rating: Unrated
http://www.sonypictures.com/bluray

We'll give Halloween II (Bluray) a C+.