A long time ago (in this galaxy, oddly enough), I had a copy of the first video release of “Hardware Wars.” It was late 1980’s and over the course of many years and as many moves it had been misplaced and ever since I’ve been in search of another copy. Last year, my search came to an end. Much to my relief, and thanks to the folks at Michael Wiese Productions, I finally had not only a replacement for my lost video, but a new and improved ultra high-tech DVD version with extras galore!

I imagine there may be a few of you who have never heard of “Hardware Wars” and now is the time to right that wrong. Originally created by Ernie Fosselius, this satirical short was meant to be a send-up of the wildly popular movie “Star Wars” (as if that wasn’t obvious enough by the title). Almost the entire story of the film was presented in trailer form and audiences were thrilled as the heroic Fluke Starbucker and Princess Anne-Droid fought alongside Ham Salad, Choochilla and Augie ‘Ben’ Doggie to thwart the evil Darth Nader and his equally evil armada of kitchen utensils.

With the rolling strains of “Ride of the Valykyrie” to elevate the drama, as the narration so succinctly puts it, “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss three bucks goodbye.”

The effects were laughable, and everything about it screamed ‘cheap’, but as far as farce goes, Fosselius’ short film was funny enough to become almost as popular as the movie it parodied. I remember seeing it when it first aired on Showtime, which is what sent me on my original search for a video copy. Over the years, “Hardware Wars” has become a mainstay at “Star Wars” conventions and I’m sure old bootleg copies are everywhere.

But now those bootlegs have become a thing of the past. Those old ‘10x dubbed’, poorly copied videotapes will have to make room for this awe-inspiring DVD release. Not only does it have the original film in all its ‘cheap’ glory, but also an incredible amount of extras sure to please any “Hardware Wars” aficionado.

Every single feature on the disc reflects the comedic flair of creator Fosselius. The Director’s Commentary is one of the best I’ve ever heard and is downright hysterical. I was impressed by his ability to say absolutely nothing while sounding as ponderous and self-congratulatory as some other big time directors… at least until he runs out of big words. There is also a ‘Director’s cut’ made up of outtakes, and a rare pirated ‘foreign’ version. See if you can figure out the language!

As if that’s not enough, the disc treats us to an episode of “Antique’s Sideshow” where we learn of the discovery of the only known print of “Hardware Wars” still in existence and its value. I wish I could tell you about everything else this disc offers, but I think some of the extras should remain surprises. But trust me, you want to watch everything.

I’ve also recently learned how the creators of “Hardware Wars” had always believed in merchandising. And now, after 25 years of hard work and design, Ernie Fosselius is finally ready to unleash some collectibles on what has been a patient and faithful audience.