When I was growing up I had a thing about the horror genre. Thanks to my parents, I watched horror movies all the time and read scary comics and books whenever I could get my hands on them. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I was a bit older that I had the chance to read some of the old Tales from the Crypt comic books that EC had published back in the 1950’s. I was aware that they had existed, so I was on the constant hunt for reprints since the original comics had become rare collector’s items. Not to get into too much detail, these comics were the brainchild of William Gaines and Al Feldstein (who would later go on to found Mad Magazine) and each issue would deliver incredibly grisly horror stories punctuated by highly detailed artwork. Of course, as the public’s mindset at the time was as backwards as it is today (only over different things), they were swayed by the government that these comics were rotting the minds of children.

It didn’t seem to matter that they were usually stories of comeuppance, where the antagonist would get his just desserts; they were eventually forced to close shop due to the ridiculous standards and codes that were set forth for the comics industry to hold up to.

It wasn’t until 1972, that Tales from the Crypt was brought back into the public’s eye with a British film where some of the stories were brought to life… or would that be death. I still remember seeing this film when I was very young, and though it didn’t turn out to be very popular, I loved it. Then in 1989, a group of gore hungry veteran directors and producers, which included Richard Donner, David Giler, Walter Hill, Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis, created an anthology series for the then fledgling HBO cable channel. They produced six episodes for the first of what was hoped would be many seasons and I was glued to the tube each and every night they ran.

The style of the series felt very much like a comic book come to life and utilized garish colors and lights to punctuate the stories. Kevin Yagher was brought in to create most of the special effects, and as he has a reputation for creating some of the most realistic fake body parts in the business, his work was instrumental to making the series the success that it was. But that was not the only key to the show’s success… not by a long shot.

The producers of the series knew they needed a hook, and that hook cane in the form of its host, The Cryptkeeper. The Cryptkeeper was one of the original hosts for the original comic books, along with the Vault Keeper and the Old Witch, and he was brought to life in the form of a highly articulated animatronic puppet. Actor John Kassir was hired to lend his voice to the character, and history was made. The Cryptkeeper became a pop culture icon that could be found on t-shirts, toys and eventually feature length films and fully animated children’s shows. (I myself have a little collection of Cryptkeeper memorabilia and am constantly trying to improve my otherwise terrible impression…) Tales from the Crypt would go on to survive through 7 terrific seasons, airing on HBO, Fox and the Sci-Fi Channel.

Looking back over the different seasons, it is interesting to point out that almost every episode featured actors or directors that were either well on their way to becoming or were already considered A-list actors. The list is seemingly endless with the likes of Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, Malcom McDowell, Timothy Dalton, Treat Williams, and Christopher Reeve. It’s no wonder the series did so well.

Since the demise of the series, there have been three feature films made… well… two feature films and one direct-to-DVD movie. The first was Demon Knight, which I actually thought was a terrific little horror movie. The second was Bordello of Blood, a rather bloody and titular (but only in the sense of having a lot of topless vampires) attempt at a horror movie that was really rather insipid. I was hoping with the release of the third, Ritual, that we would return to the style and wit that made the series so much fun. Sadly to say… nope.

In Ritual, Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) stars as a doctor who tries a new and unapproved drug on a patient, which unfortunately kills the patient. Her license is suspended, so with no chance at getting a new job in the States, she does what any self respecting ex-physician does… she goes to Jamaica. There she becomes the caregiver for the brother of a white landowner (Craig Sheffer) and finds herself smack dab in the middle of voodoo and zombie activities.

I'd like to say there is much more to the story than that, but that's pretty much it. The story, as such, allows for a lot of nudity on the part of the local Jamaican women, an opportunity for a sweaty Jennifer Grey to walk around in white tops that accentuate her… attributes, and an occasional bloodletting at the hand of a machete wielding maniac. Oh, and for good measure, there is a particularly gruesome scene right near the beginning that shows the effects of 'hot flashes' taken to the extreme.

What Ritual is missing is a good dose of the ironic humor that made the comic and the series so much fun. The film goes nowhere and doesn’t deliver much in the way of scares. The performances are mostly phoned-in, even by the usually terrific Tim Curry. I really just found little to recommend the movie for.

The DVD for Ritual does not offer any special features, however on the bright side is that there is a lengthy opening shot of the Cryptkeeper (in dreadlocks) surrounded by a bevy of beautiful bikini clad women, introducing the movie. He doesn't return to close out the film, but if you watch through the credits, you'll find several Cryptkeeper bloopers that are worth catching.

Directed by: Avi Nesher
Starring: Jennifer Grey, Craig Sheffer, Daniel Lapine, Kristen Wilson, Gabriel Casseus, Tim Curry
Extras: None
Specifications: Widescreen (1.85:1), Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound
Studio: Dimension
Release Date: 5/2/2006
Region 1
MPAA Rating: R (For Violence, Language and Some Sexuality)
Website

We'll give Ritual a D.