Sometimes being a movie reviewer can be a difficult job. Oh sure, some of you probably say to yourselves, “Hell anybody with a computer and a beer can review some damn movie (hic).” But you’d be wrong. First off, you have to watch movies. A lot of movies. Then you have to be ready to offer your written opinion in such a way as to make it understandable to the average reader. You also have to learn to be fair and honest, with no bias whatsoever. This is probably the most difficult part of all, especially when you find yourself reviewing low budget films. After all, a good number of low budget films are just bad. Really, really bad. But…. and I have to reiterate… BUT, you have to be ready to sometimes look beyond what may appear on the surface to be a bad film and consider everything from budget and time constraints to what the filmmaker’s intent was and whether or not there an audience for it. Occasionally you'll find a surprisingly good low budget movie. Such is the case for the soon to be released horror-comedy, “The Texas Frightmare Massacre.”

First, a little history to get the ball rolling. For those of you who are unaware, conventions based on comics, movies, and TV shows abound around the world. Folks who are fans plunk down their hard earned cash for a chance to meet celebrities, get their autographs and even snap the occasional photo standing next to the objects of their fanaticism. Horror conventions are probably the best and most fun because the celebrity guests can be so varied. There have been tons of these conventions over the years… everywhere except in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, which always seemed odd as this area produces the largest numbers of hardcore horror fans. Heck, I’ve waited YEARS for one to come here (…and yes, this means I’ll admit that I am one of those fanatics that loves to attend and hobnob with my favorite celebrities – though I can’t really convince myself to spend money on an autograph as it seems to cheapen the whole ‘meeting them’ thing…).

Anyhow, thanks to an awesome local entrepreneur, the Dallas/Fort Worth area hosted its first true Horror Convention in 2006, known as the Texas Frightmare Weekend. It was small, but successful enough to allow it to continue, and in 2010 had its biggest year ever with no signs of slowing down. Horror fans by the thousands flock to it every year, often dressed up as horror characters, just to meet such luminaries as George Romero, John Carpenter, and my personal hero, Alice Cooper. Attending the convention with my horror buddies, we used to joke about how ironic it would be to actually have murders going on at a horror convention. Texas filmmaker Joe Francis also had this idea, but instead of just joking around, he opted to run with it and wrote, directed and starred in “The Texas Frightmare Massacre.”

“The Texas Frightmare Massacre” focuses on two separate stories that converge at the 2009 Texas Frightmare Weekend. The first story introduces us to Eugene (Chad Pallett) and Lyle (Joe Francis), a pair of videogame playing, beer-drinking heterosexual life mates looking for some direction in their lives. The light of the TV shines on them one day with a commercial offering the job of a lifetime… that of a security guard. Charged with a new lease on life, they make the call and an appointment to be interviewed. Their interviewer, known only as “The Boss” (Hunter Barnett), hollers insults at them with near rapid-fire precision in his attempt to whip them into shape… and give them the right to carry a gun.

The second story, involves super geek Max (Allen Reed), who is pulled into a road trip to the convention with his vile and abusive stepsister Mary (Melanie Smith) and her even more vile and abusive boyfriend Todd (David Ayers). Neither Todd nor Mary can stand Max, and their hatred for him extends deep enough for them to plot his murder once they reach the convention. For most of the trip, their interaction consists mostly of telling Max to shut up and beating the crap out of him. Once at the convention however, they tell Max to stay away from them for the entire weekend, leading viewers to wonder how serious they were about the killing him. An unexpected reunion of the trio in their hotel room does eventually lead to murder and becomes the turning point for what will become a weekend long massacre.

In watching “The Texas Frightmare Massacre”, it is extremely important to be aware that it is not just a low budget film, but really a micro budget film. Viewers who have no appreciation for micro budget films or are not familiar with conventions or its attendees will quite possibly be immediately turned off. It has the look of having been shot on video, and even though it has been softened up to give it a more film-like appearance, this process is not perfect. The editing is not very tight, which in turn affects some of the performances. I would like to point out however that the acting in “The Texas Frightmare Massacre” is not terrible; as a matter of fact much of the cast did a better job than what you find in most micro-budget films. There are some line deliveries that are just gut-busting funny. But at other times, the delivery comes across kind of flat. It’s this inconsistency of video, audio and performance that will turn some audiences off. Simply put, it is not a movie for those who can only get enjoyment out of multi-million dollar extravaganzas with lots of explosions, car chases, lightning paced editing, and super-polished acting.

That said, I am more a part of the audience who can appreciate the effort that Francis, his cast and his crew put into creating “The Texas Frightmare Massacre.” First and foremost, Francis wanted to make a film that was both silly and scary and would appeal to those who hang out at these conventions. And on this level, he absolutely succeeded. His script is often very clever and funny, and I found myself nodding at the actions of some of the more stereotypical characters as they reminded me of people I know. I laughed out loud at the idea that Eugene and Lyle not only felt the main ingredient for becoming security guard material was to grow mustaches… but stood in front of the mirror ‘trying’ to grow them. This was great shtick. I also especially enjoyed Hunter Barnett’s belittling of the pair as he prepared them for the job. I don’t know how much of his dialogue was written or improvised, but he was downright hysterical. The interaction between these three actors offered the funniest parts of the film.

I was not as engaged by the introduction of the secondary story. Reed, Ayers, and Smith seemed to be forcing their dialogue and actions, and not really coming across as entirely believable. This made the road trip seem to drag on forever. Only by switching back and forth to the guards’ story, did the movie’s first third contain any momentum. Fortunately, their performances improved tremendously by the time they reached the convention, especially that of Reed’s. Additionally, I have to give Smith a lot of kudos in spite of the rocky start. Regardless of the fact that this is a micro-budget film, she understood that any horror film worth its salt offers T&A, and she sheds her clothes like a champ. Whether sexing it up with Ayers or simply taking an oddly-timed (and therefore funny as well as sexy) shower, Smith is a real trooper.

I should bring up at this point that Francis added in a third story about two drugged out convention attendees, Gary (Eric Rhoades) and Wyatt (Tyler Hayes), who are looking for a good time. Seems they want to find all the great parties and get laid. Generally this is a normal goal for a lot of the single geek attendees, and these two add quite a bit of additional humor to the film. However, I do have mixed feelings about their story. Francis offered a really great setup and gave them some really funny dialogue, but ultimately the follow through kind of dropped. I liked the idea of the final twist to their plotline, but the delivery felt like a throwaway and didn’t offer the laughs that it could have.

Shooting some of the footage directly on the convention floor added a level of realism to the film, which will please those who have attended them. Here I even enjoyed the little unintentionally noticeable details, like making sure not to catch any of the bigger stars on camera (lest you have to pay them or get their permission), but focusing on the local talent who loooovvve to be seen. Speaking of which, I have to mention the appearance by Parrish Randall, a Texas actor who has probably been in very local film ever made. He plays himself in the movie, or rather he plays a ‘super jerk’ version of himself, and is integral to the evolution of our killer. In real life, Parrish is a great guy who is always very warm and welcoming to his fans. His actions here are so against type that the offer further proof that he deserves to be seen beyond the Texas borders.

There will be a DVD release a little later this year, complete with 2 commentary tracks, a ten minute blooper reel, some Behind the Scenes Footage, and the 2010 Texas Frightmare Weekend Q&A session. The movie was a huge hit at its screening, so I am especially looking forward to catching the Q&A. I will also be curious to see if Francis will have done a little more tweaking and tightening of the editing at that time. Even if there aren’t any changes, “The Texas Frightmare Massacre” is a very funny film that mainstream audiences may not ‘get’, but it will definitely appeal to the convention geek in all of us.

Directed by: Joe Francis
Starring: Allen Reed, Melanie Smith, Parrish Randall, James Furey, Chad Pallett, Heather Chambliss, Hunter Barnett, Eric Rhoades, Tyler Hayes, Jae Mann, Joe Francis
Studio: Big Sir Movie House
Release Date: 7/13/2010
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
http://www.tfmdvd.com/

We'll give The Texas Frightmare Massacre a C+.