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Freddy
vs. Jason |
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Rating
- 5 |
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In the red corner. Hailing from
Elm Street. He's 5' 10" and 175 lbs.
He's killed 1,039 people and been resurrected
7 times. Sporting the nifty glave with the
blades on the end. It's the original "son
of a thousand maniacs"...the "burned
bruiser"...Freddy Krueger!!!
And in the blue corner. He's 6' 6" and
275 lbs. He calls Camp Crystal Lake his home.
He's killed 1,254 people and been resurrected
10 times. He dons a goalie mask, a machette
and a shit load of attitude. It's the retarded
mama's boy....the man who's been to hell and
back...and again.....and again. It's Jason
Voorhees!!! |
So, it's been a while since there's beena ny killing
on Elm Street and folks are starting to forget about
Freddy Krueger. Unfortunately for Freddy, this means
that he's rapidly losing his power over the young
and defenseless youth he used to terrorize. If there
was only some way to start up a ruckus and get people
talking about him again. WAIT A SECOND!! There is.
Enter Jason Voorhees. The killing machine with the
one track mind. Freddy invades Jason's slumber and
convinces him that the youth of Elm Street are just
as bad as the kids who let him drown at Camp Crystal
Lake. With very little coaxing, Jason is sent on
his way to spill blood on Elm Street and get Freddy
back in business.
Jason does his job.....well.....VERY WELL. In fact,
maybe a little too well. It seems that Jason is
killing all the kids before Freddy even gets a chance
to kill them himself. This pisses Freddy off and
causes him to try to bring Jason down before the
plan completely backfires.
Caught in between.....are....ummm.....well....WHO
THE FUCK CARES!!?? I mean, there was Beyonce....or
her sister or some shit. And then there's the chick
with the killer tits. I think her name was Lori
or something. And then there was that guy who was
the rip off of Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. OH YEAH!!
And Cliff from Dead Man on Campus. He's in it too.
But honestly, they are all pretty much the most
forgetable characters in the history of film EVER.
All that matters is what the title tells you. FREDDY
VS. JASON.
And they DO fight. FUCK!! Do they ever fight. It's
some of the coolest stuff I've seen. Seriously,
you'll be hard pressed to find another film that's
as fun to watch as this one is. I'll be going back
to see it again this weekend.
That's really all I can tell you. I have to say
though that I was debating it over in my head as
to whether or not I was gonna make this review spoiler
free or not. I think I came to a conclusion. If
you don't want to see spoilers, don't click the
link below....if you want to know...CLICK
HERE AND LEARN ALL MY TRUTHS!!
This movie gets a PERFECT 5 out of 5. All that I
expected and more. THANK YOU GOD FOR ALLOWING ME
TO LIVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE!! |
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