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The
Hulk |
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Rating
- 2 |
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A Note to Ang Lee
from Joe regarding the new Hulk movie.
Dear, Mr. Ang Lee
WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING
WHEN YOU MADE THIS FUCKING FILM!!??
Another question, if you could please indulge a
simple man's request. That question is...WHAT IN
THE HOLY FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING WHEN
YOU MADE THIS FUCKING FILM!!??
And lastly, I'd like to add...WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK
DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING WHEN YOU MADE THIS
FUCKING FILM!!??
Thank you for your time, Mr. Ang Lee. Thank you,
also, for taking what forward momentum comic book
based movies were gaining and setting them back
to the days when you found Spider-Man hanging around
on that old Electric Company T.V. show on PBS.
Yours truly,
Joe
P.S. The Hulk looked pretty good.
Just got done watching The Hulk, guys. It's pretty
rough. Comic book fans, RUN!! Really, for your own
sake. Just wait till this thing hits the dollar
theater's at least. I may be overreacting right
now but that's what geniuses do.
You know the story of the Hulk. Be it the T.V. show
or the comic. It's the story of how a man unlocked
a primal and powerful side of himself through a
chemical/radiation mishap. This side took the form
of an overly muscular, green mindless beast known
as the Hulk. The Hulk would wreak havoc and tear
up anything he could get his hands on until his
anger subsided and he turned back into little Bruce
Banner.
The story for the movie differs and takes what was
already a fairly complex blueprint of the character
and story and just expanded on it to make it even
more convoluted and a bit ridiculous. Instead of
a lab mishap creating the big, green goliath, we
find out that he's the product of one of daddy's
genetic experiments. The lab mishap just happens
to unlock the damage that had already been done.
Let me set one argument to rest right now. Most
people are pretty critical of how the Hulk looks.
The CG version of the mighty Marvel hero is actually
VERY well done and remained believable to me throughout
the entire film. So, anyone who thinks the ads make
him look fake, no fear. The CG work is actually
quite impressive.
That's really about as far as it goes. The movie
opens up with what could be, quite possibly, the
longest flashback in history. We basically get Bruce
Banner's entire childhood. 20 - 30 minutes of the
film kinda wasted on an expanded plot that really
didn't help the story AT ALL. Speaking of flashbacks....I
hope you like them because this movie is chock full
o' flashbacks. It's like Flashback City and all
flashbacks are "buy one, get one free".
I mean, there's a point where you don't know if
you're in a flashback or a flashback in a flashback
or in the present. But, I'll try to get back to
that.
The story is extremely slow moving from the get
go. Not to sound like a baby but if your movie is
called "The Hulk", best to get with the
"hulking" as soon as you can. No need
to waste too much time on idle chatter and relationship
building. I mean, yes....the relationship between
Bruce and Betty is EXTREMELY important. But, we
really don't have to delve as far as they do as
SLOWLY as they do. I mean, 40 minutes into the movie
and I'm laughing because I'm bored out of my skin
and still no Hulk. Luckily, the pacing does pick
up and the last 40 minutes or so of the movie are
really quite incredible.
Seriously, Ang Lee can make a beautiful film. And
there are some really beautiful shots and moments
in this movie. However, his overall style on this
flick was almost laughable. The guy figured that
since he was making a comic book movie, that he
would present this film to the audience in a comic
book format. Yep, that's right. This story comes
in panels and frames and silly fades. So, it's like
you're reading a comic book while you're watching
the movie. This was a fun and innovative technique
when it first started happening. But, to use this
way of presenting the story the entire time was
just OVERKILL. And it made the story increasingly
hard to follow. Most notably in the first 30 minutes
of the movie. This contributed to the confusion
as to whether we were in a flashback or not.
For a movie that was trying to be sooo deep and
insightful at first, it sure takes a turn for the
shallow and unimportant at a few points. Nothing
like having too many different forces working against
the protagonist. That won't make for unnecessary
lag or plot holes. Not at all. FEH!! Maybe it was
the writing or maybe it was the directing but something
was lost between you and the characters and it lacked
that sympathetic feel that you're supposed to have.
That "I give a shit about these people and
am willing to invest 2 hours of my time to watch
them sort out they're problems" state of mind.
A few things. If you have this guy who can turn
into this invincible beast by just getting angry.....prolly
best to keep him away from anything even remotely
antagonizing. NOPE. Not in this film. Egg him on.
It's cute. Also, I lost count of how many times
Jennifer Connelly cried. She's an Oscar award winner,
damnit MAKE HER CRY!! Fuck that acting shit.
She just has to cry.
And I'm not about to get started on our buddy Nick
Nolte. WHAT THE FUCK WAS ANG LEE THINKING WHEN HE
MADE THIS FUCKING FILM!!?? Nick plays Bruce's father
who's come back into Bruce's life to harness the
power of the Hulk. The only thing I found entertaining
about him was the fact that he looks like my mother's
ex-husband in this movie. Actually, Nick had a great
scene or two where he stole the show. However, the
logistics of why he was even in the situation or
position he was in with some of those scenes was
very unclear.
It was a frustrating film. As a film fan, it was
slow starting, slowly paced and there was very little
about it that I really cared too much about. As
a comic book fan, I believe that they took one of
Marvel's strongest and greatest tragic characters
and ruined him. It had it's moments but overall,
it's one of those things that suffers because the
original formula was fine enough. If it ain't broke,
folks.....
Maybe I'll come around and appreciate this film
more later. But for now, I gotta tell you to save
your money and not waste your time. Shit, people....go
rent The Punisher starring Dolph Lundgren instead.
A much more solid flick than The Hulk. And that's
a damn shame.
The film get's a 2 out of 5. |
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