My original intention was to write these little essays more than once a month. But then September 11th happen. I just kind of went numb. Everything else I was doing seemed kind of petty. Everything else that was going on seemed kind of pointless. The world came to crossroads on that day and I was there for the ride.

While I didn't know anybody who was killed, I know somebody who had family who, last I heard, is still missing. It hits you harder than you think.

Maybe I'm still numb but I know that once things start getting back to normal, something else is going to happen and I'll be numb again. We're expected to retaliate. And then they're also expecting another major terrorist attack. When you say "hand them over or else" it scares me. "Or else" is a powerful and very "final" phrase.

I don't know what is to come. Thats the worst fear of all especialy if I consider the fact that I don't like being scared. I'm not sure if the threat of fear that is the worst or the thought that at any minute I could be all alone.

September 11th is going to be one of those days where you remember where you were and what you were doing when these events happened. I don't want to remember but I know I must.

My mother brought home a stray cat that day and he is in my lap now drooling as I write this. This is what I'd prefer to remember.

But if the twin towers hadn't been destroyed that day, I don't think I'd ever remember the exact date that this cat came into my household.

Funny what we remember.