I had a discussion the other day with a priest about cars of all things. You see, this particular priest is also a mechanic and he's got quite the passion for cars. We somehow moved from the topic of the Hewlett Packard/Compaq merger to the quality of American automobiles. First off, this priest thinks Saturn as a car line is a joke and he mused about how Chevrolet will never forgive GM for taking their reasearch and development money away from them to fund this Saturn project that doesn't make any money.

But thats not what makes this conversation special.

To quote this priest, "The Ford Tempo was the worst car ever made."

All my thoughts and ideas have now been confirmed.

I always thought the Ford Tempo to be the greatest of unholy machines but now that a PRIEST has said it is so, there is now no doubt in my mind that the Tempo was put on this earth to torment all who had one. The Pinto has nothing on the Tempo my friends.

The Tempo is EVIL.

My first car was a Tempo, thus this was my first experience with pure evil. I swear once that thing had its first problem is was all down hill. I recall one time in high school, I picked it up from the shop after having the electrical system fail on me. Picked it up, drove it to school, took a final, drove to Sonic, and the electrical system failed on me once again. Luckily the shop was a block away. Didn't have to push it too far.

Did I mention that the first time the electrical system died, I was on the highway?

Indeed, the Tempo is evil.

There are a million stories I could share with you about my Tempo. DPW had a Tempo as well and his was even MORE evil. You should ask him about the time the hood of his car flew up as he was driving down the highway and about how he had to tie it down with rope to keep it from flying up again.

Indeed, the Tempo is evil.

And in time, I have come to coin the term "Stunt Tempo"

What does this term mean you ask?

Ever see the movie "Robocop"?

If you take a close took at those police cars, you'll see that they are indeed Tempos. As a matter of fact, if you look at a lot of movies, you'll notice that a lot of cars that get blown up are Tempos.

Poetic Justice? Or the enslavement of the demonic Tempo population?

Probably the high availability of a car thats bound to explode and not be missed.

Either way, I'm happy with it. Seeing a Tempo get what it deserves is pleasing. I think it was the preivew for "Gone in 60 Seconds" in which I saw a Tempo take it in the side with a wrecking ball.

So here, we have two movies at least with these "stunt tempos". If you know of anymore movies, shoot me an email. Did you once own a Tempo? I know what you went through my friends. Who knows, this Tempo hunting might even get you a free lethaldeath.com T-shirt.

Just remember fellow bastards.

I feel your pain.