So, for this introductory edition of Target Practice, we bring to you a most "informative" and "well spoken" reader, who felt it was his honor bound duty to gently correct our two review moguls on their performance in the Vanilla Sky review.

Enjoy.

I've just read your reviews for Vanilla Sky, and i have to say that i don't see much future for you as critics, 'cause your didn't know it was a remake, and you said the original film was mexican, when in fact, it's SPANISH!!! Yes, we use the same language (with a lot of differences like northamerican english an british english), but, Penelope Cruz (wich played the same role in both films) is spanish, the original film ("Abre los ojos") was shown in the U.S., and the director is getting known worldwide (in spain he became famous with is first film "Tesis") with his last work "Los otros" (maybe renamed in the english version, and with Nicole Kidman as the main character and Tom Cruise as a producer).
I know the you guys aren't pro critics (neither do i), but next time use the internet for documentation, please, as people here in Spain are tired of been confused with south american people when we are even in another continent

nothing more to say, so bye, bye

I, first, apologize for making the mistake of saying that "Vanilla Sky" was originally a "Mexican film". You are correct. It was a Spanish film. And how very astute of you to point out that "The Others" (another Tom Cruise project) was also a work from the same director as the original "El Vanill-o El Sky-o". Cesar, it looks like you really have a grasp on your culture and all I can say is kudos to you. However, that was the only part of your letter that held water. The rest was a bunch of slapped together dribble. Let me point it out for you.

1. You said..."i don't see much future for you as critics, 'cause your didn't know it was a remake, and you said the original film was mexican, when in fact, it's SPANISH!!!"

If I didn't know it was a remake... then how in the hell could we say that the original one was Mexican? Sure we got the country wrong but, dude, we mentioned there being an original... which means we were well aware that it was a remake. Hell, I spoke with Tom Cruise about the film one on one (No shit... I got tape) and he told me he got the original director's blessing. Which begs the question... How was I unclear in any way about whether or not it was a remake? I think Crimson and I were very clear about that.

2. You said..."but, Penelope Cruz (wich played the same role in both films) is spanish,"

Okay... so? That doesn't make a film any more Spanish than it may have already been. It doesn't make Cameron Crowe's "Vanilla Sky" a Spanish film just because Penelope Cruz is in it and she's Spanish. That would be like saying that "Meet the Parents" was an Italian film since Robert DeNiro was in it. And you informing us that Penelope Cruz is Spanish is quite unnecessary. I don't see how she could be anything but. I sure hope that she acts better in Spanish than she does in American because I am not impressed.

You're saying that I have no future as a movie critic really doesn't affect me at all. I'm not trying to be a big time critic. This isn't Roger Ebert or the New York Times. We're a bunch of jagoffs writing about movies we've seen. None of us take ourselves seriously... well, maybe DarkWolf does... but how could you not if you call yourself "DarkWolf"?

My advice, read the reviews... make sure I don't give any other films an incorrect origin but try not to take it so seriously... okay?

The Spanish director (whom you can't even name) is Alejandro Amenabar, a director known for his highly distinctive visual flair. He did indeed write and direct Abre Los Ojos ("Open Your Eyes"), and the film was released in Spain. The film did star Penelope Cruz in the same role she played in the misguided Crowe adaptation. As the story goes, Cruise watched a screening of Ojos and immediately bought the rights to film an American version, and called up his bud Cameron Crowe to write and direct it. The other film you refer to (but could not directly name) is The Others, one of the finest films of the year. Don't tell us we don't know what we're talking about, ass goblin.

Joe had a slip-up in his reference to the film's country of origin (he is what they call "human," and thus prone to making the occasional mistake), but I assure you, we are both very qualified as film critics.

A quick rundown of our credentials:

Joe is an experienced actor who has studied theater at NYU (that's New York University, as in, one of the finest schools in the country) and had parts in several major motion pictures (Armageddon and the upcoming Servicing Sarah most prominently). He has spent most of his adult life working in film, and has had a lead role in a successful local independent film. He has worked in the entertainment industry since he was legally able to work. He's written a complete screenplay. His knowledge of actors, directors, and movies both classic and obscure is second to none. Oh yeah, he also personally interviewed Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe about the film.

I have been writing movie reviews for nearly four years, and have received awards on the district, regional, and state level (Texas, for the curious) for my critical writings. My brother before me was a successful film critic, and his style influenced my own. I have been given two recommendations to work as a critic on a large city paper. I, like Joe, have a vast knowledge of not only entertainment movers and shakers (actors, directors, etc.), but of screenwriters, genre, filming techniques and style. Care to explain to me the significance of the German Impressionist film movement of the 1920's? Didn't think you could. We won't even get into the awards I've won for fiction writing.

That cook your bean right, Mr. Picky? Come back when you have something relevant to say.

- Crimson