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Q: What's the difference between
in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted. |
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Q: How many psychologists does
it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One. But the lightbulb has to WANT to change. |
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Q: Why did the skeleton cross
the road?
A: To get to the Body Shop. |
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Q: Why did the duck cross the
road?
A: To prove it wasn't chicken. |
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Q: Why did the monkey fall out
of the tree?
A: Because it was dead. |
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Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: To keep their pants up. |
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Q: How do crazy people go through
the forest?
A: They take the psycho path. |
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Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it. |
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Q: What did the fish say when
it hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!" |
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Q: What do Eskimos get from
sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroid's. |
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Q: What do you call a boomerang
that doesn't work?
A: A stick. |
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Q: What do you call cheese that
isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese. |
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Q: What do you call Santa's
helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses. |
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Q: What lies at the bottom of
the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck. |
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Q: What's the difference between
roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef. |
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Q: Where do you find a dog with
no legs?
A: Right where you left him. |
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Q: Why don't blind people like
to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog. |
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Q: What do you call skydiving
lawyers?
A: Skeet. |
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Q: If there is H2O on the inside
of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P. |
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Q: What'd Cinderella say to
her tardy photographer?
A: Someday my "prints" will come. |
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