| |
Hey, this place is giving me
the creeps.
Want to go back to my van? |
| |
What winks and fucks like a
tiger? <Pause>
<Wink> |
| |
How about pizza and a fuck?
<Pause>
What, you don't like pizza? |
| |
<Go to a bar and order
a glass of water. When it arrives, dip your
fingers in and splash the water on your object
of affection. Then, as smoothly as possible,
say>
"Say.. let's get you
back to my place, and get you out of those
wet clothes." |
| |
Boy: "I bet your
mom is a good baker."
Girl:
"Why?"
Boy: "Because
you've got some nice buns." |
| |
| You must be
from Tennessee, because you're the only Ten
I See! |
| |
| I Lost my
Teddy Bear will you sleep with me? |
| |
| Do you wash
your pants in Windex? Cause I can see myself
in them. |
| |
| I may not
be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed
rock! |
| |
| Do you believe
in love at first sight, or should I walk by
again? |
| |
| <Motion
a girl to come over to you with your finger...
when she get's over there say:> "See..
I just made you come with my finger.. now
imagine what I can do with my whole body" |
| |
| <Give
the person a bottle of tequila> Drink
this, then call me when you're ready. |
| |
| Do you know
the difference between my dick and a chicken
leg? No? Wanna go on a picnic? |
| |
| If its true
"we are what we eat", I could be
you in the morning. |
| |
| Hey baby,
you must be a light switch, cuz every time
I see you, you turn me on! |
| |
| I know milk
does a body good, but DAMN baby, how much
have you been drinking? |
| |
| If I were
in charge of the alphabet, I'd put "U"
and "I" together. |
| |
| Do you cum
here often....would you like too? |
| |
| Are you lost
ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here. |
| |
| Was your father
a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely
tuned body? |
| |
| You know,
you might be asked to leave soon. You're making
the other women look really bad. |
| |
| Hey honey,
you ever tried duck sausage?, No? Then duck
down here and get you some! |
| |
| Have you ever
kissed a rabbit between the ears? <Pull
your pants pockets inside out...> Would
you like to? |
| |
| Can I have
your number? Cause I lost mine. |
| |
| I wish you
were a door so I could bang you all day long. |
| |
| Nice legs...
What time do they open? |
| |
| Do you work
for the post office? I thought I saw you checking
out my package. |
| |
| You've got
206 bones in your body, want one more? |
| |
| I'm a bird
watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted
Bed thrasher, have you seen one? |
| |
| I'm fighting
the urge to make you the happiest woman on
earth tonight. |
| |
| Wanna play
army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell
outta me. |
| |
| You might
not be the best looking girl here, but beauty
is only a few drinks, and a light switch away. |
| |
| You must be
the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. |
| |
| I'd walk a
million miles for one of your smiles, and
even farther for that thing you do with your
tongue. |
| |
| <Look
down at your crotch> Well It's not
just going to suck itself. |
| |
| You know,
if I were you, I'd have sex with me. |
| |
| You, Me, Whipped
cream and Handcuffs. Any questions? |
| |
| Those clothes
would look great in a crumpled heap on my
bedroom floor. |
| |
| My name is
<say your name>...remember that,
you'll be screaming it later. |
| |
| Do you sleep
on your stomach? Can I? |
| |
| Hey are you
Jamaican?? Cause Jamaican me horney! |
| |
| Is that a
keg in your pants, cause I will tap that ass! |
| |
| Hey, you might
not be the brightest color in the rainbow,
but you sure are the prettiest. |
| |
| You remind
me of a ten pound bass....I don't know whether
to mount you or eat you. |
| |
| If you were
a laser, you'd be set on stunning. |
| |
<You're
in your car at a red light next to a good
looking chick>
Hey you wanna race?? If you win I fuck you.
If I win you fuck me? |
| |
| Fuck me if
i'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda? |
| |
| Hey baby,
have you ever had your asshole licked by a
fat man in an overcoat? |
| |
| Hey baby if
I was a squirrel, and you were a squirrel,
can I crawl in your hole and bust a nut? |
| |
I'd tap that ass like
my neighbor's cable!
[ Submitted by: Joseph ] |
|
