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MLB
:: The Diamond Report – Wednesday, May 8, 2002 |
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Well, here we are at week 5 of the
baseball season, and already things are getting
pretty damn exciting. In the long 6 months of the
baseball season, pre-season rankings and projections
usually mean jack shit once the games begin, but
let’s take a look at two of the biggest surprises
so far:
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Lés Expos
Despite being on the verge of extinction
via contraction, the Expos have exploded out
of the dugout this season, sitting in first
place in the National League East up until
just a few days ago. Every time they win,
they do the impossible – no, not make us care
about fucking Canadian sports – they make
Bud Selig look even more retarded than before.
A feat, to be sure. But I wouldn’t be hoisting
those championship banners in Montreal just
yet. |
Even though the Expos are a young and talented
ballclub (Vladimir Guerrero is on the verge of being
the best player in the game – expect him to play
in New York next year), they won’t have the time
to develop together, spending their last season
in the shadow of contraction. On top of that, the
Expos suffer from absolutely anemic attendance at
Olympic Stadium (peaking at 3000-5000 per game).
For a winning team, that is fucking pathetic. No
ticket sales equals no revenue equals shitty players
equals no one fucking cares. Literally. To all the
geniuses running those “Save the Expos” websites,
here’s some advice for you, free of charge. GO TO
THE FUCKING GAMES! P.S. – Canada sucks.
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Jeremy
Giambi, Superstar!
No typo there, I said Jeremy,
not Jason. Jeremy spent most of last year
spit-shining his brother’s jockstrap in Oakland,
keeping the pine nice and warm for his superstar
brother’s golden heiny. |
When Jason followed the almighty dollar to New York
this off-season, no one cared much about what Jeremy
was doing, with some Oakland fans clamoring for
his trade after that non-slide in last year’s playoffs
that probably cost the A’s the series against New
York. This season, he’s been far more consistent
than his $120 million brother, beating him in both
batting average and on-base percentage, tying him
in homeruns. God, does this fucking rule. While
Jason struggles with the Yankees, Jeremy (the forgotten
Giambi) is shining with the Athletics. Only a complete
moron expects Jeremy to beat his brother offensively
all season, but I can give you 120 reasons why Jeremy
seems to be the better choice for the Athletics’
roster.
Teams to Watch:
The Boston Red Sox – Capped off by converted
closer Derek Lowe’s no-hitter last week, the Sox
are playing red hot right now, though they have
yet to face any of the better teams. An upcoming
road trip gives them back to back games against
Oakland and Seattle, which will be a good gauge
on how the boys from Beantown will fare this season.
New York might have stiff competition this season.
Gasp.
Cleveland Indians – After jumping out to an 11-1
record, the Tribe proceeded to lose 13 of their
next 14 games. Jesus Christ, did they all develop
temporary blindness? Their recent back-to-back wins
present a chance for the Indians to rebound, and
they need to quickly, with the White Sox and Twins
off to solid starts.
Chopping Block:
Buck Martinez. The Blue Jays’ skipper is my
prediction for the next manager to be fired. The
Jays have sucked cock so far this year, dropping
to a pathetic 9-20 record, tying the Devil Rays
for dead last in the AL East. This team actually
has some talent, so Buck’s managerial life will
be forfeited shortly in favor of a “fresh start”
(read: wins).
Stud of the week: Mike Cameron, Seattle
Mariners. Cameron went 4-5 against the White Sox
Friday, smacking a record-setting 4 homeruns in
one game. On your knees!
Dud of the week: the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Their 10-game losing streak is one game shy of a
franchise record. Tell me again why this team exists?
Until next week.
- batgirl |
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