I don't know who deserves to be slapped harder, the parents and coaches of these showy bitches, or the Little League officials and ESPN executives who worked so diligently to get these games nationally aired. One incident during a televised game involved a Harlem player pointing his bat out to center field a la Babe Ruth before hitting a ball out there (I was, of course, hoping the little prick would strike out and go cry in the dugout), and in another game, a player trotted around the bases after hitting a homerun, dancing and high stepping down the third base line before stomping on home plate in front of the opposing team's catcher. These kids suck but they aren't stupid, they know they're on TV, and they're playing up to it.

When exactly did acting like a spoiled asshole become chic children's sports? More importantly, when did it become something that a national audience needed to see? These kids' parents should be fucking ashamed of themselves for supporting this kind of exploitation openly. Twelve-year-old baseball is hardly major league material, so no one should be acting like they just hit the homerun that saved the universe from utter collapse, or coached the team that freed Iran. I've seen these kids play, and let me tell you, most of them will be selling shoes by the time they're twenty-five rather than playing shortstop in the major leagues. The coaches and parents come off as desperate old farts slathering to fulfill their lost ambitions through their brats.

The worst thing about all of this unnecessary national exposure and exploitation is more lasting than the showing off by players, coaches and parents. Imagine your son, sister or cousin is the one to drop a ball or strike out in a crucial spot (as crucial as little league can possibly be) on national television. Chances are he's going to be hearing about it until he graduates high school, maybe longer. Everyone will be snickering about that ground ball that cost Fucktown, Iowa the national championship. He'll probably need therapy. Is that kind of shit really worth having snotty little kids promoting Rawlings or Nike?

I wish they'd stop showing this shit on TV, period. It's bad for the kids' psyches, it's bad for sports fans and it's annoying to see bastard kids showboating in a damn little league game. Instead of watching real baseball, I get to see Johnny Dickwad wipe a booger on his sleeve before striking out. This travesty must be stopped.