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Hello,
and welcome to Fairy Tales from Cell Block
C. I'm your host... |
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CHON
WALSH!! |
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..Chon
Walsh...AHEM!! I mean..John....John Walsh.
Today we have a wonderful story coming to
us from... |
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CHON
WALSH!! |
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..Chon
Walsh.....DAMMIT!! Ortiz, will you please
stop that!!? |
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But,
Chon Walsh, you gotta see what's outside!! |
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Not
right now...I'm introducing Richard. He's
going to tell us a story today. |
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But,
Chon Walsh!! |
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Listen,
Ortiz, I got a big heapin' helpin' of cornhole
and it's got your name all over it!! Now,
settle down or I'll settle you down!! |
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AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Please no!! I'll stop...I'll stop!! |
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Okay
then...as I was saying. We have a wonderful
story coming from Richard Galliland. Richard,
go ahead. |
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When
I stormed the beach at Normandy, I never prayed
sooo much that there was a God in Heaven...yet,
I was never more sure that there wasn't. That
reminds me of a story of when I was a boy... |
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There
is a great rumble outside the doors. |
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What
the hell was that!!?? |
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The
rumbling? |
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NO!!
That guy who just popped out of thin air! |
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Oh,
hi. I'm Joe. I'm the narrator. |
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WHAT!? |
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See....at
certain times in a story, it becomes necessary
to describe actions or other things that may
be going on while the main characters are
playing out their parts. It's my job to break
the fourth wall and tell the readers what's
going on. Obviously, the readers couldn't
feel the rumbling outside just now, so I had
to let them know that there was a rumbling. |
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Fourth
ball? |
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Well,
can you narrate a little quieter? You're disturbing
us and you're kinda freakin' me out. |
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Oh,
sure...go ahead. I'm sorry to have bothered
you. |
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Go
ahead, Richard. |
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I
keep my earnin's in a tin can I got buried
out in my back yard. |
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There's
a pounding at the door. |
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Excuse
me, I believe I asked you to... |
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The
door blows apart and strange men in white
suits flow into the room. |
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WHAT
THE!?? |
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Hold
it right there!! |
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IT'S
THE JAPS!! EVERYONE TAKE COVER!! |
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Blast
him!! |
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A
Stormtrooper blasts Richard Galliland in the
back, dropping him dead. |
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Are
you gonna just sit there and talk or are you
gonna help us!? |
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Oh,
I'm just a narrator. I'm not allowed to get
involved. |
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Not
allowed to get involved!? |
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Quiet!! |
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In
walks a man in an officer's uniform. |
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Name
and rank! |
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What
are you talking about? |
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The
officer circles around John Walsh looking
him up and down. |
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What
the hell was that? |
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(Sigh)
That's the narrator. |
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Narrator? |
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He
tells the readers what's going on. |
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Does
he now? |
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More
or less. |
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Curious. |
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We
found a few others in the cells in the back.
What should we do with everyone sir? |
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Take
them all. They are now prisoners of the Empire. |
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The
Stormtroopers begin to take Jon Walsh and
Luis Ortiz away. |
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Oh
yes...and don't forget the "narrator"
over there. |
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Huh? |
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Yes
sir. |
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Hey....get
your hands off of me! |
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You're
coming with us. |
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You
can't do this!! I'm telling the story!! |
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Oh,
I can and I will. Take him away and prepare
him. |
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Prepare
me for what? |
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Why,
the Imperial Cornhole Chamber, of course. |
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WHAT!!??
WALSH!! WALSH!! You gotta help me!! |
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Sorry,
Mr. Narrator...I'm not allowed to get involved. |
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Hehehehehe |
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Yeah...HAHAHAHA...really
funny...I'M SERIOUS!!! RELEASE ME!! |
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No
need to resist, my friends... |
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