 |
Go
on. Do your little thing. |
 |
My
"little thing"? |
|
|
You
know. Get one of your little friends to tell
a little story. I wish to be entertained. |
|
|
I'm
not sure this is the time or place for that. |
|
DECIDING
THE TIME AND THE PLACE IS MY JOB!! |
 |
Should
I blast 'em? |
|
GASP! |
|
No,
Captain. Stand down. |
|
Yes,
sir. |
|
He
was just about to choose one of his little
comrades to tell us a story. |
|
Stories
are cool. |
|
Now,
who shall entertain us? |
|
Well,
guys. Who's it gonna be? |
 |
Don't
look at me, fruity. I'm not sticking my neck
out. |
 |
Davey! |
|
What? |
|
Your
friend needs your help and you're turning
your back on him. |
|
My
friend!? |
|
After
all he's done for you. |
|
Martha... |
|
You
just take your friends for granted, David. |
|
Martha! |
|
But
I don't think you should plan on counting
on these people if you treat them like this. |
|
MARTHA!! |
|
Sometimes
I feel like I don't even know who you are
anymore. What happened to the man I married!?
Speaking of which... |
|
SHUT
UP, YOU FISH EYED, WRINKLED UP WHORE!! |
|
(sigh) |
|
DAVID!! |
|
Hehehehehehehe |
|
Captain. |
|
Sorry,
sir. |
|
Sometimes
I'm amazed that your head could be soooo full
of shit! |
|
Do,
I get to respond now...because I think, for
once, we should say what we really feel... |
|
SHUT
UP, BITCH!! I'm not done. |
|
|
|
You
should spend more time thinking than you do
talking. Or maybe use some of that energy
to work on making me a son, you dried up piece
of dirt. |
|
David.
You're hurting my feelings. |
|
Yeah?
GOOD! Here's one more. Use some common sense
once in a while, retard! |
|
|
|
Should
I blast 'em, boss? |
|
No.
Stand down. They entertain me. |
|
Yes,
sir. |
|
What,
in your little fucking fantasy land, would
make you think that he's my friend? He put
me in jail. He put you in jail. He put US
in jail! |
|
|
|
Is
this getting through that thick skull of yours
or do you need me to put it in crayon for
you so you can grasp the concept better!? |
|
|
|
And
so the guy who puts me in jail is put in a
pickle and he wants me to stick my neck out.
Fuck no!! And if you don't like my decision,
then you can fuck off and go tell your own
story and get yourself killed! In fact, please
do that. Get killed. It would make my life
easier. Stupid cow! |
|
|
|
Okay,
guys. Let's calm down now and... |
|
LIMP
DICK! |
|
WHAT!? |
 |
Hehehehehehe |
|
Ortiz! |
|
Sorry,
Chon Walsh. That was funny. |
|
You
heard me! How dare you call me "dried
up"! There's nothing wrong with me. You're
just hung like a goldfish and I'm sure your
little sperm are just as useless as you are! |
|
YOU
DIE, BITCH!! |
|
Not
if I kill you first, motherfucker!! |
|
Guys... |
|
Oh
really? |
|
You
bet your ass!! I'll wait till you're asleep
and then I'll snuff you out like a candle. |
|
You
wouldn't dare. |
|
Hey! |
|
Why
not? I'm already gonna be in jail until I
die. What are they gonna do? Put me in "more"
jail? |
|
|
|
|
|
You
are serious. |
|
|
|
Okay,
guys. Time out for both of you. Just take
it easy. Nobody's killing anybody. |
|
That's
what you think. |
|
Captain. |
|
Sorry,
sir. |
|
Hey,
Chon Walsh. You'll never guess what I saw... |
|
Ahhhhh....yes,
the little one. |
|
Huh? |
|
Yes.
How about you entertain us with a story? |
|
But....I
didn't....I mean...I...uhhhhhh |
|
Come
on, Ortiz. It's okay. Someone needs to get
up and tell a story. |
|
What
about Starks? |
 |
Oh,
no you don't, honkey! I want no part of this
shit! |
|
Well,
I don't want any part of it either. Why do
you get a choice? |
|
Talk
to my lawyers, motherfucker! Besides, look
at them. That one has a whole shiney white
suit on. |
|
Well,
thanks. I do try to keep it clean. |
|
SHUT
THE FUCK UP, WHITE MAN!! |
|
Don't
make me kill you. |
|
Starks!
Ortiz! Figure out who's gonna tell the story... |
|
Starks,
you better tell the story or else. |
|
Or
else what, motherfucker? What are you gonna
do to me? You couldn't even take care of a
9 year old girl. |
|
|
|
What?
Say somethin', motherfucker! |
|
Starks
should tell it. |
|
Not
just no...but HELL no. Shit, those motherfuckers
prejidize on me just as much as you do. |
|
"Prejidize"?
Hehehehehehe |
|
Laugh
it up, motherfucker. You know the truth though.
Those motherfuckers wanna hear me speak like
you wanna see me hoppin' up on yo' wife's
ass. |
|
C'mon,
Starks. Let's not go too overboard with the
race war here. I don't think your skin color
matters around here. |
|
No.
Actually, he's quite right. |
|
Excuse
me. |
|
We
are very similar to what Earthlings would
call "Nazis". We believe that diversity
could be a dangerous thing if not head off
and eliminated. |
|
So,
you're gonna kill him? |
|
Kill
him? And get the NAACP breathing down our
necks? Oh, dear me, no. You see, we may be
based on your "Nazis" but everyone
knows your "Nazis" failed miserably. |
|
So,
what's your point? |
|
My
point, Mr. I-Don't-Know-My-Place, is that
the "Nazis" failed because they
didn't take a business savvy outlook on their
goals and methods to achieve those goals.
See, we believe in hate but we also believe
in profit. We are an Empire after all and
without income we wouldn't thrive. We wouldn't
be floating around in this huge technological
terror right now if it wasn't for profit. |
|
Profit? |
|
You're
going to find that most of the truths we cling
to depend greatly on profit. |
|
But
how do you profit by letting Starks live? |
|
Well,
that's quite simple. Black people have the
most curious ability to come up with catchy
little phrases and way of speech that we can
easily take and print on T-shirts and such
and make a pretty little penny. Take this
cute little "Got
Liberalities?" shirt that we
put together. A simple little shirt, but then
you throw a catchy phrase on it and you make
a couple million credits on it. It's really
an exciting time for marketing. |
|
Oh....so
you use them to make money on how they talk? |
|
What
did you think, motherfucker? They make me
clean the windows!? They make me pick the
cotton!? NO! It's a different kind of oppressionation!
They still make me do all the work and then
they take all my motherfuckin' cheese! Just
like the white man, they put my people in
chains and make us live a dog's life because,
secretly, they're afraid of the power! |
|
Power? |
|
BLACK
POWER!! |
|
TAKE
COVER, SIR!! |
|
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU SHOT ME!! YOU SHOT
ME IN MY MOTHERFUCKIN' ARM, MOTHERFUCKER!! |
|
Is
everyone alright? I think that took care of
him. |
|
WAIT
TILL YOU HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS, MOTHERFUCKER! |
|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! |
|
What
did you do that for? |
|
He
was about to use his power. |
|
OW!
OW! OW! OW! SHIT!! |
|
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! |
|
No
he wasn't. He doesn't have any powers. |
|
Then
why did he say he did? |
|
GODDAMMIT,
MOTHERFUCKER!! |
|
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!! |
|
It
was just an expression. |
|
You
shouldn't say you have powers if you don't
have any. |
|
I'M
GONNA SUE ALL YOUR WHITE ASSES!! |
|
Captain,
take him away to the bacta tanks. We need
to heal him up before anyone finds out about
this. |
|
Yes,
sir. Come on. |
|
HEHEHEHEAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHE! |
|
SHUT
THE FUCK UP, SHORTY!! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM
ME, MOTHERFUCKER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SHOT
ME, BITCH!! |
|
Yeah
yeah yeah...I'll do it again. Come on. |
|
Well,
unfortunately, I must cut our time short.
I better go and take care of the paper work
so this whole deal doesn't escalate. It would
be a shame if that black man decided to press
charges. Farewell and remember...tomorrow
you go into general population with the other
prisoners. |
|
I
can't believe this is happening to me. |
|
It's
happening to all of us, Chon Walsh. |
|
Dammit,
Ortiz, couldn't you have just told a.... |
 |
Everybody
gasps in surprise as the Narrator descends
down into the room Mission Impossible style. |
|
It's
you!! Where have you been? |
|
I
escaped when they took us aboard this space
station. I've been travelling through the
network of air ducts and such that run throughout
this place trying to find you guys. I have
a plan to get us out of here but for the time
being you have to play ball and do what they
say. |
|
I
dunno if we can hold out for too long. One
of my guys was already shot. |
|
Yeah,
it was funny. |
|
I'm
sorry. You just have to buy me some more time.
Try to be careful. You'll hear from me again
very soon. The Narrator climbs back up into
the overhead air duct and is heard shuffling
away into the distance. |
|
That
guy still creeps me out. |
|
He's
funny too. |
|
Hey,
Ortiz, look out the window. You know what
the name of that planet is? |
|
No.
What? |
|
Planet
Cornhole!! C'mere, bitch!! |
|
AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
THAT'S NOT FAIR! I WASN'T READY!!! AIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! |
|
Go
for it, Johnny!! Tear into that stinky! |
|
Davey!!
Hahahahahahahaha!! |
|
Martha,
did you just laugh at my joke? |
|
Uh
huh. It was funny. |
|
Martha,
I... |
|
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Don't worry, baby. |
|
No,
honey. Let me say it. I'm sorry, Martha. I
was terrible and you deserve better. I had
no right to speak like that to you. I'm soo
very sorry, peanut. |
|
Yeah? |
|
Yeah.
I'm sorry. |
|
OHHHH,
DAVEY!! MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! I love you, David
Crowe! |
|
And
I love you, Martha Crowe. |
|
And
we love you, Monty Boston. |
 |
MONTY
HUNGRY!!!!! |
|
|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! |
