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So,
when last, we saw our heroes, they were scheduled
to be executed. Some folks might say that
the world would be better off without some
of these criminals and stuff. But, I just
can't sit by as John Walsh gets fried. Besides,
the rest of them are funny too. If I let them
die, I won't have as much to do on the site
anymore. We can't have that. As we speak,
John Walsh and company are strapped into some
heavy duty electric chairs and all hope seems
lost. |
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You
hear something? |
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Ooof....just
keep watching. |
|
I
coulda sworn I heard.... |
 |
Captain. |
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Yes,
sir. |
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Are the prisoners secure? |
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Yes,
sir. |
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Excellent.
Greetings. I'm so glad you could make it. |
 |
It's
our execution. It's not like we had a choice. |
|
Oh
yes, that's right. Sorry. That must have slipped
my mind. |
|
Understandable.
I mean, we're only STRAPPED INTO THESE ELECTRIC
CHAIR LOOKING THINGS!! |
 |
I'm
scared, Chon Walsh. |
 |
Oh,
Davey, I'm scared too. |
 |
I
understand, peanut. Things don't look too
good for us. |
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Oh,
Davey!! What are we gonna do? You have to
do something. |
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Martha,
there ain’t a whole lot I can do. I’m… |
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I
DON’T WANT TO DIE, DAVEY!! Please, find
some way to get out!! |
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Martha,
I’m…. |
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I’m
not ready to die. Not here. Not in this strange
place. |
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Sweet Jesus.
|
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Martha. |
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If I must,
let me die in my own home. Not here. Not around
these strangers. |
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They gonna
fight again, ain’t they, Chon Walsh? |
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Martha! |
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Uh huh. |
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OHHH, DAVEY!!
WHY US!? WHY DID THEY BRING US HERE!!?? DON’T
LET ME DIE!! |
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SHUT THE FUCK
UP, YOU SELFISH BITCH!! |
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DAVID!! |
| |
Can we get
on with the execution? |
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Don’t
“David” me, you screeching cow!! |
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Screeching
cow!!?? You….you…you… |
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Me? What is
this? You suddenly wanna talk about me? You
finished with your “I don’t wanna
die!! I’m sooo scared!! Wahhh wahhhh
wahhh wahhh” shit!? |
 |
Anybody got
some Skittles? I’m starving. |
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Fuck you, motherfucker!!!
I can’t believe I actually loved you.
I can’t believe that I felt sad that
I may never see you again!! |
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May never see
each other again? Really? SIGN ME THE FUCK
UP!! |
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Okie doke. |
|
Captain! |
|
Sorry, sir.
|
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You are a dog.
A low down, dirty, child molesting. Chicken
and donut eating, shit sniffing DOG!! |
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Mmmmmm Chicken
and donuts!? Genius!! |
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And you’re
a smelly tramp. And fucking you has been like
sliding my dick into an occupied coffin! |
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DIE YOU MOTHER
FUCKER!!! |
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YOU FIRST,
BITCH!!! |
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Can you please
just cap both of these mother fuckers right
the fuck now!!?? |
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SILENCE!! |
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……….. |
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……….. |
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Good. Now then… |
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Limp dick. |
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YOU DIE, BITCH!! |
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I SAID “SILENCE”!!!! |
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……….. |
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……….. |
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Good. Now,
as I was saying. Any last requests for the
condemned prisoners? |
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Yeah, motherfucker.
Let us go. |
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Cute…but…no.
Besides, you should feel right at home being
chained down. |
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Oh, very funny,
motherfucker. You sayin’ I’m your
house boy!? Should I go out and pick your
cotton!? Howsabout I wash the floors fo’
ya, mastah!? |
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Should I shoot
him again, sir? |
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Stand down,
Captain. |
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Yes, sir. |
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I wasn’t
making a racial comment, my idiotic, ethnic
friend. I was making jest of the fact that
you were already a prisoner brought aboard
our space station to be OUR prisoner. That
was an example of irony. |
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Yeah, well
here’s my example of irony. Let me outta
here before I break my foot off in yo’
ass!! |
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I don’t
think that was ironic. |
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Fuck you, shorty.
That was full of ironications. |
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No, I’m
afraid the little one is right. There were
no traces of…..wait a minute. You said
“ironications”? |
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Yes, I did,
motherfucker. You impressed? |
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Riiiight. Okay.
Any serious requests before we light you folks
up. |
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A Three Musketeers
bar. |
 |
Christ, Porkins.
Quit it with this food shit!! |
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I can’t
help it. I’m nervous. And when I’m
nervous, I eat. |
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Bullshit!!
You eat anyway! You’re like a fucking
black hole! |
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I eat a lot
because I need to restore my energy. |
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Restore!? From
what? Sitting on your fat ass and….EATING!? |
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Fuck you, Rendar.
You don’t know. |
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Oh, I know
alright. I know you’re a fat ass. |
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My ass isn’t
fat! |
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Oh, I’m
sorry. How silly of me to think that your
BIG, WIDE ass is FUCKING FAT!!!! What would
you like to call it? Bantha sized!? |
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I want SILENCE!!
Any more outbursts and I’ll start having
you blasted. |
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Oh goodie! |
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Captain. |
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Sorry, sir. |
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Now then, last
chance for anything before we start frying
you. |
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I have a question. |
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What is it? |
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Why are you
going to kill us? What are you achieving by
this? |
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Achieving?
Well…..nothing really. I just think
it’s fun to watch people’s expressions
change when they’re fried. |
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Oh. Is that
all? |
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I guess so.
I wish I could tell you that you were dying
for something grander but, in the end, it’s
simply for my amusement. Was there anything
else? |
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No. I guess
not. |
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Okay then.
I guess we’ll get on with this. |
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I don’t
wanna die, Chon Walsh. |
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I’m sorry,
peanut. |
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David? |
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I’m sorry
for… |
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You might wanna
speed it up because he’s about to pull
that switch and stuff. |
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Ohhh. I LOVE
YOU, DAVID CROWE!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!! |
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AND I LOVE
YOU, MARTHA CROWE!! |
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I’d love
some gummi worms or somethin’. |
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You fat fuck. |
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Everybody ready?
Here we go. In three….two…. |
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Excuse me.
We’re sorry to interrupt. |
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What are you
doing here? |
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We’ve
brought a final meal for the prisoners and
some refreshments for you. |
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A MEAL!?? YAY!! |
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Oh. Well. I’m
feeling a bit parched, I must admit. No harm
in holding off the exection for just a few
minutes. Go ahead. |
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Yes, sir. First,
these cups for you and the Captain. |
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Thank you. |
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Right on!! |
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Captain! |
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Sorry, sir. |
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And the rest
of this is for you prisoners. |
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Mmmmm. What
do you got there for us? |
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An escape plan.
Shhhhhhh |
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Escape plan!?
What kinda meal is that? |
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The Imperial
Guard tries to hush Porkins. |
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Wait a second.
What was that? I know that voice. |
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Dammit! The
Imperial Guards throws off their uniforms
to reveal the narrator…. |
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And me. |
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Stay calm,
guys. Me and Lando are gonna get you outta
here. |
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We are saved,
Chon Walsh!! |
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Thank goodness!!
Get us outta here. |
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Wait just one
second. You’re not going anywhere. I…..I….whoah.
I’m getting a bit light headed. |
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It’s
the effects of what you just drank. Joe runs
around, untying the prisoners. |
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What I just
drank? Have I been poisoned? |
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No poison,
baby. Just a heapin’ helping of some
Colt .45. |
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Awww shit,
nigga. Colt is the mutha fuggin’ shit!! |
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Captain! Blast
them! |
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* snore * |
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The Stormtrooper
lies passed out on the floor and Jerjerrod
feels his strength fading fast. The prisoners
are all untied except for Dash Rendar and
Porkins. Joe starts to lead the prisoners
out. |
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Hey!! What
about us? |
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Sorry. We’re
not allowed to get involved. |
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What the fuck!!?? |
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Come on, guys.
I got us a ship waiting. |
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Let’s
go, Chon Walsh! |
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Right behind
ya, buddy! |
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AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
NO!! Don’t cornhole…. |
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I didn’t
mean it like that. Come on, let’s just
get outta here. |
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Wait for us!! |
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Come on, peanut!!
Time to fly. |
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I love you,
David… |
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Not right now,
honey. Let’s get. |
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OH! Okay! |
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MONTY!! |
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I feel
sooo weak. Come back!! |
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I’ll
be right there, guys. Excuse me, Mr. Lando. |
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What’s
up, brother man? |
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I just wanted
to say….from one black man to another…you
are a smooooth motherfucker. |
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Nigga, please!
You don’t have to kiss my ass for saving
you. We all deserve our liberalities and I’m
here to deliver. |
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Solid, brutha!
You gonna bounce with us? |
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Naw, get on
up outta here. I’m gonna spend some
time with my new friends here. |
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Right on. Peace
out. |
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Solid. |
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Hey, Crackers!!!
Wait up for me!! |
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Well…now
that we’re alone. Which one of you motherfuckers
seen the movie Deliverance? |
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AIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!! |
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From across
the space station, Jerjerrod’s screams
are heard. |
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Say, do you
have to keep talking like that? |
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I’m
a narrator. It’s what I do. |
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Well, how about
you get us in one of these ships and get us
outta here. Besides, when you talk like that….you
kinda freak me out. |
|
Point taken.
Everybody climb aboard this ship over here.
|
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And, thus ends
the adventures in Detention Block 1138. Our
heroes are returned home and life slides back
to normal…. |
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AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
NO!!!!!!! |
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C’mere,
bitch. It’s time to see if the groundhog
sees it’s shadow!! |
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Or as normal
as it can be. |
